Crash Crew

I have to write a play.  Not as in an assignment, but as a duty, or compulsion.  I talked to the professor, and he gave some good feed back on the idea.  I'm not sure if I can do it the way it needs to be done.  It is about why we serve, in the military.  I am going to use my time in the Marine Corps to do it.  Autobiographical.  I have a ton of stories, and a few ideas.  See how it goes.

National Saturday

A great Saturday.  I got out early(8:00am) and got day tickets to two plays at the National Theatre; two front and center seats.  Then back to the flat to eat and such. 

The first play was "Rocket to the Moon" on the Lyttleton stage.  When I walked into the theater to take my seat the was a wall in front of the stage, "Safety Curtain".  When it opened I saw a 1930's dentists office in New York City.  A very nice set.  The story is sad and touching.  A cliche happens, an almost 40 dentist (Ben) has an affair with the secretary, but it is so much more than that.  There are themes of getting older, male responsibility and women's roles in the depression, and of course love.  The characters were played on the surface with eruptions of depth breaching through surface.  I won't give the end away, but I would not have chosen as Ben chose.

After, I walked to The Globe and bought a ticket to "Much Ado about Nothing".  I spent the interum hours eating lunch, reading, and juggling.  There was a nice spot to juggle out front on grass like carpet next to giant grass like furniture.  When I dropped the balls they didn't roll far.  I am sure people watched, but I tried not to notice or think about it.  At one point a french man, I think a school teacher cam up to me and offered to play.  He tried to take a ball I was juggling out of the air and then put it back.  There was a little success and more laughing.  Then he showed what he could do and juggled circles.

I took a walk around the area and found a wall of poems. One really struck me. 

"Leaving and Leaving You by Sophie Hanna

When I leave you postcode and your commuting station,
When I left undone all the things we planned to do
You may feel you have been left by association
But there is leaving and leaving you.

When I leave your town and the club that you belong to,
When I leave without much warning or much regret,
Remember, there's doing wrong and there's doing wrong to
You, which I'll never do and I haven't yet,

And when I have gone, remember that in weighing
Everything up, from love to a cheaper rent,
You were all the reasons I thought of staying,
And none of the reasons why I went

And although I leave your sight and I leave your setting,
And our separation is soon to be a fact,
Though you stand beside what I'm leaving and forgetting,
I'm not leaving you, not if motive makes the act."

Upon returning I ran into the two sons of the head of the study abroad program and we chatted a bit, until the professor came.  We went to our separate plays.  I saw Chekhov's "Cherry Orchard"  it was a great production; amazing set great acting in the Oliver Theater.  Zoe Wanamaker was the mother.  I didn't know her, but she is very famous here.  The story is of irony and dashed hopes.  Things the Russians find comedic.  Chekhov's play are considered comedies.  If that's comedy the Russian tragedies must be something to behold.  I watched the play as an observer; I appreciated it, but was not moved.

After I returned to the flat.

A week of Plays.

I have seen several plays in the last week.  Here is a run down.

"Holy Rosenbergs" by Ryan Craig; Story of a Jewish family in London.  A son died fighting in the Gaza Strip.  A daughter is working on a U.N. report on human rights violations in the Palestine/Israel conflict.  Another son is trying to deal with failing to measure up to expectations.  A father is trying to get the family business back on its feet.  A mother trying to keep it all together.  An excellent production.  I was told some of the actors are world class, but I do not recognize them.  I was an engaging story, well written script with real characters with strengths and flaws.  The set was a dining room in a very intimate theatre.

"And I and Silence" was in a theatre above a wine/tea/coffee shop; very small, 50 seats.  The story is of two women, one white one black, who meet in prison in the USA then live and work together after they are released.  It is a sad tale.  It bounces back and forth from their meeting and forming a friendship to after their release 7 years later.  It was played by two sets of actors.  The production was not as polished as other plays I've seen here.  One of the actors had an affected almost caricatured voice.  The others were very believable.

"As You Like It" by Shakespeare.  A delightful show at the New Globe.  The players are a traveling company of eight.  They had great energy and it looked as though they have worked together for a long time, and those relationships helped them in the play.  The performance gave me ideas of how the plays were performed originally; in the same space, the same time of day, minimal set, sound, and lighting.  I was moved as much by the story, a comedy, as by the actors working so well.

"Hamlet" by Shakespeare.  "Gaaaaa..." is what I wrote in my notebook.  Very tedious.  The actor who played Hamlet did everything I have been training not to do.  He just said the words, very very fast, with nothing behind them.  He did not relate to other actors.  He had his monologues planned out.  At times involuntarily vocalized my disbelief at his changes in mood.  If I ever act like that, please put me out of my misery.  The other actors were passable.  Palonious I did not understand.  Horatio and Claudius were good.

"Proof" by David Auburn.  I saw it in Greenwich (That's the Greenwich as in "Greenwich Mean Time") at Greenwich Playhouse which is above a pub.  It was a small theatre, 80 seats.  There were great characters all around and it is a great story.  I had a couple classmates play the last scene, so it was nice to see the entirety.  The actor that played the sister at one time I though had a great sense and physicality of a hangover, but then she did the same stuff the next scene, so not so good.  A fun time, I am going to see another play there next week.  I had a thought during the play, since I am versed in Mathematics and Science.  Will my various experiences help me in acting as far as just the knowledge goes?

I am still hitting the play circuit hard, more to come.

Exestention. (Is that a word?)

Watching all these plays makes me want to work.  I want to act and do it ... more than well, excellently.  But, not just for other's approval.  Granted that is a big part; it is my nature to seek approval.  I love things about my self.  I love the way I hear music, the way I dance, the way I see the world, the way I love.  I want to love the way I take a character and tell the story.  I am not there yet.  I still have fear and uncertainty.  That is why I want to go to grad school.  I feel like I have only warmed up, and there is much more to learn.  I don't think I can learn it, or get where I want to be, on my own.  I was looking at "The Actors Studio" and from what I have heard from a friend it might be a good place.  They focus on Stanislavsky, lots of movement, and work on new stuff.  Draw backs; odds of getting in a very slim, $100,000 tuition (yikes), and living in NYC.  I need to find a back up I think.  I need to ask anther friend about his program at University of Missouri.  He just got in, but I think it is an every other year program.  So that is what I am looking for; a  masters acting program, with strong movement, Stanislavsky, and new works.   There is a ton of information out there. I'm not sure how to sort through it.

Arggg... I don't know what I'm doing.

On Wednesday I took the first ballet class since Macbeth rehearsals started, which has been several months.  It was at a place called "The Place".  It's a nice place...  Tough class on many levels.  It is humid which makes the floor very sticky for my new shoes.  I am very out of shape in ballet terms.  Picking up choreography is not my forte and the instructor had a French/British accent.  It was OK, I am going to take African dance class there on Monday.

Tonight I went to see "A Delicate Balance" by Edward Albee, the same guy who wrote "Who's afraid of Virginia Wolf", at the Almeida Theatre.  It was a wonderful production.  A Gorgeous set full of burgundy, red and browns.  Richly decorated with lots of alcohol, a constant theme, and many seats.  A lovely playground for the actors.  The script is more verbose and wordy than Virgina Wolf, but the actors were so good that I was never bored or off on a day dream.  The accents were good too.  One actor's Northeastern American might have held some British, but not bad.  The youngest actor however had a very confused muddled accent, parts were sort of NYC, and others I could not tell from where.  The play may have had some symbolism outside of its reality, but I did not pick up on it.  There was something ominous and bigger than the events going on.  Not sure what.  I met a couple English gents, sitting next to me,Michael and Ian.  We chatted about plays and royalty.  Makes me wonder, I seem to get on great with older people, my young school mates I seem to have trouble relating with.

What else do I do.

Things about my trip to London:
- I have not gotten a hair cut; looking a bit shaggy. And I am not going to get one until back in Salt Lake.
- A friend loaned me a camera, which I have not used.  It just feels awkward.
- Without World of Warcraft to soak my time, I am juggling(getting better), reading(Stanislavski), and blogging.
- I made Bachelor Chile and Bachelor Spaghetti for the first time in... wow, two years or so.  Still damn tasty.  Thanks Dad.
- I realized since I've been here I am in a constant state of defensiveness.  I am not sure why I am afraid.  Its hard to let that go. Can I just say "Here I am.  Hurt me if you want, but I'm not going away,"?


I saw "Much Ado about Nothing" on Monday.  I was going to go to an African Dance class, but things change.  It stared David Tenant(sp?), some famous guy who was Doctor Who.  It was put on at the Whyndym(sp?), same place we saw "Clayborn Park".  It was a good production in all.  David Tenant as Benedict was great, he brought the language out and had superb comedic timing.  The play was set in the 1980's.  I have no idea why.  What I remember of the eighties, they were lame.  The rest of the cast was good, nothing outstanding.  Claudio was very tall, and very good looking, but rather blah to me.  He had one very cool scene.  It was right after he read the epitaph to Hero.  He was drinking and had a pistol; he saw a vision of Hero; and that was it.  It carried him into the next scene, the second wedding.  The most disappointing part was Don John.  He was a mousy little guy.  He seemed rather weak.  I wanted to compare what I had when I played him, the black hat villain in a western, but there was little to compare.  In all the production was a bit slap-stick, but with plenty of production value.

Tuesday I saw "Uncle Vanya" at an out of the way theater.  It is my fist Chekhov production.  It was wonderful to see after last semesters work on Russian Scenes.  It was a lovely production, with it's sad comedy and bitter irony.  There were great relationships and justified changes in mood, laughing and crying in the same lines.  The professor is a repulsive character to me, as is the grandmother.  How would I play a character I found repulsive?  The father in "All My Sons" is an example.

A play about 3 sisters, and a castle. (The castle is the Tower of London, nothing to do with the play.)

"Bronte" is a play about 3 Bronte authors.  Before the play I didn't know much, I only know a little more now.  It was a moving story with a contemporary telling.  They used wonderful movement to tell the story.  They played, they PLAYED;  as children, as adults, as actors, as characters. They related to each other physically, ans is my fantasy that being that physically alive really opened them up.  They used a table to tell the story, a very stout table.  It was a warship, a library, a death bed, a writing desk, etc...  It seems to have accomplished everything for "Bronte" that all the technology was meant to do for "Silence" and failed. There were several scenes where the characters in Jane Ayre and Wuthering Heights came alive and personified aspects of the authors.  I of course tiered up several times.  It is my favorite play so far.  Once again I went solo.

The London Tower was a fun excursion.  The Anglican church service we went to was the best part.The rest of the Tower was interesting in a tourist way.  Nice displays, fun walking around with fellow students. (Yes, I was a bit social.)  We toured the Tower on threat of arrest, since we went to church and then toured without paying.  Items of note; big ravens with clipped wings, wardens in uniforms with ribbons, and Scots Brigade

soldures in full regalia, oh yea the Crown Jewels, biggest cut dimond in the world (yawn).

Keep trying.

Stupid thing wouldn't let me post yesterday.  To catch up.

I went to the natural History Museum with a few people here.  It was OK.  Kind of like a USA Today version of a museum.  Not as in depth as I'd have liked.

Last night we saw "Silence" done by a group called Filter and Royal Shakespeare Company.  Many of the others though it was great/incredible.  I thought all the cool tech they used distracted me and the actors from the story, which wasn't all that compelling. Not sure the class will be the best place to share that.  There maybe hurt feelings.  Besides it is so big, conversations amongst 40 people tend to be long and directionless.

Today we went on a Shakespeare walking tour.  I learned there is not much physically remaining of Shakespeare's era.  I though Tim was stretching a bit.  I did find crystallized ginger at the market we went to.  Yummm.

And this evening I went to Saddler's Wells and saw the Dutch National Ballet.  They did 5 smaller pieces 2 were fair, 2 were good, 1 was fantastic.  It was visceral, sensual, aggressive.  This is the most I have ever been turned on by a dance, and that includes strip clubs.

So, you might think things have turned around a bit.  I suppose you are right.  I still don't have any friends here, though some are friendly.  No one actually follows through.  So I'm still lonely, but my juggling is improving.

Wow, am I relly in this state of mind?

I think I hate it here.  I have no friends here.  Feel like an outsider.  I think I creeped a girl out today.  Is it possible I have wasted this much money, and am now stuck here for 5 weeks?  I'd rather be at work.  They like me there.  How do I tell people when I get back?  They ask "How was London?".  I say "It sucked."  Awkward pause ensues.  It must be my fault.  My pessimism, bad attitude, not trying, etc.  I don't know how to change it.  I should never have come.

The Plays

I am actually in London to study Theartre. I have seen two plays so far.  "Claybourne Park" was very good at the Wyndham.  It was about private property and racism.  It was very well done, great acting.  The dialogue clipped along very natural.  There was often a comedic timing to the lines being delivered, but it wasn't funny, or at least I didn't think so.

I saw "I am the Wind" last night at the Young Vic.  It was... strange.  A cool set with a pneumatic boat and a small lake/large puddle.  I found it to be esoteric, surreal, and absurd.  Two characters on stage talking and sailing.  It deals with suicide.  The relationship is not stated.  At one point I thought they were the same person.  The point was one was trying to understand the other.  I'm sure there are metaphors and symbols, but I didn't get it.

I woke up early this morning, not sure what time as I don't have a watch or clock. I stretched, did push ups, and juggled.  We had our first in classroom, class. Which, I just came from.  I am feeling a bit unsure... of everything.  A friend looked in to dance classes for me, which I am going to check out on Monday.  That will be an adventure.  Other than that I have nothing planned.  I'll just see what falls out.

This is London, but I'm still me.

So 2 full days in London.  I have mixed feelings. 

We saw a play at the Wyndam(sp?) theatre, gorgeous theater by the way, called Clayborne Park. A very good show.  Full of quick dialogue, tension, and secrets. The actors were very natural, and had good accents.  One was American, but I could not tell which.  I suppose we will be discussing it in class on Tuesday. 

Afterwards, a guy begged me for change.  He even pulled the "ginger" card, he was one as well.  I still turned him down as is my rule. 

Today we went on a little tour of the political district.  We saw Parliament, a park, the place, an expensive grocery, a book store, and an affordable grocery.  I plan on making chili and spaghetti.  I got everything but onions. Have to get those tomorrow.

I am feeling strains of culture shock.  I am a bit depressed, and feeling alienated.  I still have 40 days or so to go.  I don't know what I am doing here.  It's too big, too strange, and too much for me.  How am I going to do the acting thing when I have no support?

I want to find a dance class, but I m not sure how to do that.  I stretched out a bit this morning and dis some push ups.  I haven't done anything since Macbeth ended( I did an hour warm up before each show); too sick, tired, stressed.

We'll, here's me trying to be positive...

Flight day.

It's 4:30 am.  I fly out at 12:40 or so.  My plan is to stay up all night so I am tired enough to sleep on the plane.  being this tired may have hampered my judgement.  I visited with one ex-girl friend and Facebook messaged two others.  Well, better than doing it drunk... I hope.  I have my clothes out, ready to put in my bag.  I'll shower and shave in  a couple hours, and pack up the rest of the way.  Then a walk to Market Street for breakfast (that's where I work, and they are even going to let come back to work when I return.  Thanks guys.), then grab the airport bus.  I'll get to London tomorrow morning sometime after 8:00 am.

I am filled with a mix of excitement and apprehension.  I really don't know what to expect.  I had a counsel a while back tell me I needed to be more positive.  I tried that.  It felt fake.  Is it OK to be unsure, if I'm positive I'm unsure?  I am being positive in some respects.  I have some juggling balls, a frisbee and a full box of condoms.  So I'm being open to all kinds of fun.  Plus, this blog in its self is optimism.  Right?

I'll see you in London.